retirement tagged posts

PLASTICVILLE-USA

HOLY HOGS BATMAN!!!

I have come to the conclusion that God has a very unique sense of humor when it comes to the two places that most Americans think are the prime places to live in the continental USA. Those two places are Florida in general and southern California.

When it comes to California, especially southern California on the coastal side, it’s pretty hard to beat the weather. In fact, the television weather people probably have the easiest job on the planet. They get paid to pretty much say the same things over and over again. As in..Hi today 75..low tonight 50. As it says on the shampoo bottle..wash, lather, rinse, repeat...

PLASTICVILLE-USA

GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

Villagers are well known for their demanding attitudes. Their feeling is that virtually anyone they come in contact with should jump at the snap of their fingers. For a collection of retired people who’s lives have allegedly taken on a slower pace they are virtually ALWAYS in a hurry.

They become all sorts of nasty when they go into a restaurant and everything isn’t on their table in a matter of minutes. Now I don’t know about you, but if I’m going into a sit-down restaurant, I’m usually there for a leisurely meal and some conversation. If I’m in an all-out hurry to eat, I’m much more likely to hit the drive-thru at Burger King than I am to seek out a table at the Cracker Barrel or Chili’s.

Nowhere in TV are the Villagers “I want it...

PLASTICVILLE-USA

FOR THE GREATER GOOD???

Recently a thread popped up on my favorite web-board regarding a BBQ restaurant here in the area. The restaurant is located on the eastern end of Route-466A between TV and the little town of Fruitland Park.

The writer was upset that the restaurant wouldn’t agree to her request to wait 20 minutes after their closing time so her husband who was driving in from some place could pick up her order. The writer being a full-blast Villager decided to remind the restaurant that she was a VILLAGER and that she was of course entitled to her every whim being fulfilled.

The bottom line was that restaurant told them they were not going to hang around, and that they really didn’t care if she was a Villager and she could buy her ribs somewhere else.

This of ...

PLASTICVILLE-USA

SUICIDE BY GOLF CART…

All over Florida you will encounter what are called “Golf Cart Communities”. The vast majority of these are found within the gates of the various 55+ retirement communities although there are some to be found in a number of “all-ages” communities. Without a doubt the largest golf cart community on the planet is TV.

Most of these communities are gated retirement communities with populations ranging between 3,000-7,000 residents. The carts become an alternate means of transportation to friends, the pool, the tennis courts and of course on the golf courses all within the confines of the community’s gates.

In these smaller communities there are usually golf cart lanes on the main community roads, and the golf cart traffic is minimal at most...

PLASTICVILLE-USA

IN HONOR OF “PAPER COLLAR JOE” BESSIMER…

The phrase “there’s a sucker born every minute” is often incorrectly tied to showman P.T. Barnum. Historians say that the quote comes from a famous con-man of the late 1800’s named “Paper Collar Joe” Bessimer. Today we pay honor to Paper Collar Joe with a story out of..where else? The Villages.

There are essentially 6 housing choices in TV. The two smallest are the Patio Villas and the Courtyard Villas. The real difference between these two is that the Courtyard Villa has a wall around your tiny postage stamp sized house and lot to give you privacy from your neighbors. Whether you choose a Patio Villa or a Courtyard Villa you are buying a cottage. A small,essentially-made-for-two people cottage...

PLASTICVILLE-USA

GO THE HELL BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM…

A recent opinion piece entitled “Everybody Comes To Rick’s” written by the New York Post Editorial Board lauded Florida’s governor Rick Scott on the occasion of his second inauguration.

The piece noted how Florida is surging past New York in terms of population and how many people are leaving the once “Empire State” for places like Florida in search of lower taxes and a better business climate. It rightly points out that there are no local or state income taxes in the sunshine state, and they do indeed welcome and encourage new businesses to come and plant their seeds in Florida.

While they were correct on the points they stated, they left out a few facts which tends to put a few clouds in the skies of the sunshine ...

PLASTICVILLE-USA

GLUB..GLUB..GLUB..

There have been a recent rash of D.W.I. arrests in TV both for drivers of licensed vehicles and golf carts. This recent set of reports caused someone to start a thread on the local Villages gossip board Talk Of The Villages as to whether or not there was too much drinking in TV.

If you have at least one functioning eyeball and spend 10 minutes in and around TV you will know that TV are awash in booze. Actually it’s so prevalent that a blind man could see it with his cane. Drinking is essentially an Olympic sport here.

In his book Leisureville, Andrew Blechman reported on this back in 2007 and the problem has just multiplied as the population has grown...

PLASTICVILLE-USA

TIZ THE SEASON…

Unless you did your growing up south of the Mason-Dixon Line, the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons in the southland are just plain weird. It’s not unusual for the temperatures to easily be in the 80’s..or even 90’s..and there’s nary a snowflake anywhere to be had. Ain’t nobody going to be going over the river and through the woods on anybody’s sleigh.

In some cases it can be downright depressing adding to the stress of an already stressful time. Our first Christmas in Plasticville was utterly depressing. Three days before Christmas Eve I was out walking the dog in 85 degree weather. Nothing seemed even remotely right. We had a very hard time finding the so-called “Christmas spirit” in this tropical world.

Of course if you grew up down...

PLASTICVILLE-USA

WE GROW TOO SOON OLD AND TOO LATE SMART…

Over the past 4-6 months in TV there’s been a lot of very bizarre behavior going on here in America’s Friendliest Hometown. TV has been making local, state, national and international news for all the wrong reasons.

I guess the shocking part of it all is that this is TV..you know..God’s heaven come to earth. Paradise. Like so many other things the myth doesn’t quite hold up when reality intervenes. However, if you were reading these kinds of stories from the pages of the New York Post, the Baltimore Sun or the L.A. Times you wouldn’t think twice about any of it. Weird stuff happens in big cities. But here in TV..well that’s different. And it seems that different is becoming the norm.

The latest Villager to go haywir...

PLASTICVILLE-USA

WHEN THE DREAM BECOMES A NIGHTMARE…

One thing that was a surprise to us when we began looking for homes was the rather large amount of bank short sales and foreclosures that popped up in “America’s Friendliest Hometown”.

Whether it’s TV or some other retirement community the advertising come-on is almost always one form or another of…”Come live your dreams!”. Now I have always been pretty sure that living the dream was one that did not include the bank snagging your home for lack of payment. But that is indeed the case in many more homes in Plasticville than one might think possible.

Recently a local on-line newspaper The Villages News ran a two part article on these problems in TV.

A note about The Villages News...