IT DOES NOT FIT..YOU MUST ADMIT!

PLASTICVILLE-USA

IT DOES NOT FIT..YOU MUST ADMIT!

I have never made any bones about my complete dislike for Villagers. As a group they are the most spoiled, self-centered and obnoxious people that God ever deposited in America. On the other hand, while I am not in favor of what Gary Morse created, I applaud his genius for his ability to lay out such an amazing site and to anticipate the needs of his created community.

People in TV look at Gary as either saint or the earthly creation of Beelzebub himself. Gary’s father on the other hand, Harold Schwartz, is only spoken about in hushed tones as though he was the second coming of Jesus Christ. If there is anything bad to be said about TV it is ALWAYS said about that filth-foul-foul-filth Gary Morse! By the way..Gary’s original name was Gary Schwartz. After Gary’s mother divorced Harold, she had her children take the name of her second husband. There are all sorts of rumors as to why this happened, but the actual truth has never been told. Or if it has been, it has been couched in rumors to the point that nobody seems to really know.

While TV is either America’s/Friendliest/Nastiest/Most Immoral/Spoiled/Hometown it is above all else a BUSINESS. And a very profitable business it is. Most of the credit to that success was Gary Morse who had the innate ability to digest tons of seemingly minor details and put them all together to make what is now known as TV. While it was the McDonald brothers who invented the now famous McDonald’s restaurant system and began the franchising of restaurants, it was Ray Kroc who took McDonald’s to the stratosphere. The same is true of the father and son team of Harold Schwartz and Gary Morse. What Harold started up, Gary kicked it up notches unknown as Chef Emeril would say.

When you get to running a business the size of the Morse machine, you get to have a lot of leverage with your suppliers. WalMart has such a choke hold on their suppliers that they dare not go against them, lest Wally’s just squeezes them out of business. Likewise McDonalds. How would you like to be the Coca-Cola salesman who handles the McDonalds account and manages to lose them to Pepsi. No. Not good!

When it comes to Morse Industries, they buy what is good for THEM. What they can get the best per-unit deal on. And again, they buy so many appliances, rolls of roofing, kitchen cabinets and doors that they can almost tell the manufacturers what they are willing to pay for them, and the suppliers will go along, because saying no to a giant cash-paying client is just plain bad business.

Recently on that goofball website that is the primary showcase for Villagers’ arrogance and stupidity, there came a complaint..(TOTV is just FULL of complaints) that was for once what might be considered an actual bona-fide concern. In fact, it might want to be showcased or bronzed as possibly the ONLY complaint/concern on TOTV that was ever valid!

It seems a new-home buyer decided that they were not really enamoured with their builder’s grade refrigerator that came with the house. So they went to an appliance dealer and bought a new refrigerator that they thought they would like better.  When the dealer came to deliver the new refrigerator they found to their surprise that the new machine didn’t fit in the allotted hole! You see..the refrigerator..while it LOOKED like a full-size frige..it wasn’t. It was a slightly smaller unit that had likely been bought by the truckload at a deal price. So either the homeowner could just leave the refrigerator that came with the house in its’ place, or…tear up all his cabinetry to get the new full-sized frige to fit in! SURPRISE!! The power of volume buying!!

This is not exactly a one-off problem. When we began looking for homes down here in God’s Little Waiting Room, we were warned by my wife’s aunt to be SURE to bring a full-size dinner plate with us on our home search. Now why exactly would you do that? Because in Plasticville, the main kitchen cabinets are not deep enough to accept a full-size dinner plate!! Yes..that’s right. The cabinets were bought in a non-standard size by the railroad carload, saving bits of pennies on each one. The same kind of stuff that WalMart does. It shaves bits of pennies “in order to serve you better.” What they always mean when you hear THAT phrase is..”We’ve found a new way to screw our customers and save us money in the bargain!!” So truly, if you are looking at homes in TV SOUTH of Lake Sumter you are well advised to bring a full-size dinner plate with you and see if the plate will fit in the kitchen cabinets!!

So when you are heading out to by your dream home in America’s Most Messed Up Hometown..if indeed you are that foolish..be sure to bring a good tape measure, and a full size dinner plate. In the end you’ll be saying..It does not fit you must admit!!!