WAITER! THERE’S A HAND IN YOUR WALLET!!

PLASTICVILLE-USA

WAITER! THERE’S A HAND IN YOUR WALLET!!

Villagers are a curious bunch in so many different ways. They come complete with all the likeability of Hillary Clinton and they are some of the cheapest people on earth.

The funny thing is they are cheap in odd ways. They have no problem laying out a stack and a half of Clevelands for a new Mercedes or Lexus, but they have trouble dispensing a proper tip at a restaurant. They have no trouble laying down 14 large for a Rolex, but will howl like a stuck pig if they just miss out on 2 for 1 booze at the squares. There’s no problem paying over 30-grand for a tricked-out golf cart but get their nose out of joint if the price of milk goes up at the Publix. They are just plain weird.

One of the things that Villagers do on a very regular basis is attempt to beat their restaurant tabs by “finding” a problem. It’s the old..”Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup” gag played over and over and over again. Continual variations on a theme if you want to speak in orchestral language.

Often their tactic is to drive some poor server whacko with constant requests for water, napkins, additional silverware and the like. Of course they don’t ask for these things all at once, they space out their requests so that the server has to make multiple trips back and forth. As soon as she forgets something, they call for the manager and proceed to embarrass him or her in front of a full restaurant crowd, and then demand that A)..the server be fired IMMEDIATELY. And B)..that they somehow be comped for their terrible inconvenience. For the average Villager taking actions A & B would be the most acceptable.

This kind of silliness is only tolerated in TV. If this was done at a restaurant in say..New York City or Chicago..the manager would likely throw the whiners out into the street by himself!

The other tactic by-passes the server where the diners merely claim that there’s a fly, bug, hair or other foreign object in their food, and then expect the manager to either comp their entire dinner, or give them a coupon or gift card to cover another return visit. Again..a combination of BOTH solutions is what the average Villager is angling for in the first place.

Now most people if they TRULY DID find something odd or inappropriate in their food they would most likely not return to the particular eatery. But in TV it’s all a ruse to essentially pull off a BOGO at their favorite place to eat.

Having spent decades on the radio I am well used to the kinds of listeners who would call up and tell you off, and end their conversation with the following line..”I will NEVER listen to your crappy radio station EVER again!”. Of course they are right back there the next day calling and griping about whatever is getting their goat today.

But the end result is..here are people who have excellent retirement incomes who can well afford their meal out AND a PROPER tip, who are doing nothing more than PURPOSELY CHEATING the restaurant and their server simply because they are cheap bastards and think they are entitled to it all.

That in sum is the definition of a Villager.